It could also be your platform, and how it handles file system changes. I don’t know anything about ESX to comment specifically. My entire system is Microsoft.
From Plex regarding automatic library updates:
Note: This function relies on the computer’s operating system providing the “Something Changed” trigger. Some operating systems don’t provide this trigger and content mounted via a network will also typically not work.
and
Note: In most cases, this should work for content on local filesystems. It will generally not work for network shares mounted via SMB, NFS, AFP, or similar.
Were you referring to updates just fine ala automatically, or updates just fine when a refresh is triggered? Mine does update without issue when a refresh is triggered, it just takes too long.
It could also just be a purely numerical factor too. If you don’t mind me asking, how much data are you talking about your system having to scan? My TV section is currently sitting at about 6TB and 1200 folders.
At the end of the day though I think it boils down to Plex enabling more granular refreshing via the Web API, like Kodi. An update in Kodi triggered via Sonarr for a newly downloaded episode completes in seconds, because it can target just that show. Of course, a complete library refresh in Kodi also completes magnitudes faster than the same action in Plex, so there are some other underlying fundamental differences in the mechanisms used. However, a show refresh in Plex certainly completes fast enough. Being able to trigger it via notification would solve this issue.